The Road Ahead

​I am not really sure what “the road ahead” means, but I am trying not to focus so much on it as I go through my every day life.
Since I last updated JDKC, I have applied for John Carroll’s Communication Management graduate program.  Well I started it – I submitted the actual application and asked for recommendation letters, but I still have to write my statement of purpose and take the GRE (which doesn’t have a minimum score requirement for the Com Department and is totally irrelevant for Communications…).  But here’s the thing about this program:  I already missed the deadline for any Graduate Assistant positions and I do not want to go to graduate school unless it is being paid for because if I’m going to be “over-qualified” for positions when I finish, I might as well not be adding more debt to my name. I mostly don’t want to take the GRE because I’ve never been good at any standardized tests and if it doesn’t matter what the score is, then why do I need to take it?
I had found a program at Providence College (a place I had applied and been accepted to as an undergraduate) which would allow me to get my Master of Education for free while teaching at a Catholic middle/high school. Sounds pretty neat right? But once again, I would be rushing to try to get all of my stuff in so I can interview and I don’t want to be stressed about anything else. Plus, this is a program that I can apply to at any point in time and get into next year.
G-Day is quickly approaching (a little less than three months away now) and I think I’ve started to embrace the idea a little bit more recently because I can see all the job opportunities that are available to me.  But I think it is also because I can feel my time at Marc’s quickly fading away.  It’s nothing negative about the job that I’ve held for nearly six years, but I can feel my patience wearing thin with both my co-workers and my customers.  These are people I’ve been spending every weekend with for the past two years and practically every day with before that and I know I need a change in scenery – and I don’t mean a store change or manager (because let’s be real, I’ve been there done that). I need somewhere I can grow and spread my wings and maybe even have adult conversations with more than three people (again, let’s be real, not likely to happen if I get into a small office).  I’ve been working at City Hall in University Heights and at the Cleveland office for American Lung Association and I can see where the world can take me if I just let go of my first love (Marc’s).  I will always love Marc’s.  I will always love the people I have met and gotten to know through the store.  However, as my time as a students starts to end and all of my job possibilities begin to grow, I can feel my time at good old Parmatown slipping through my fingers and a voice in my head reminding me that I didn’t want to do this forever anyway.  This road ahead of me is going to lead me away from my first job and I am ready to accept that in the coming months/year.
The road ahead means change and every day I try to accept the inevitable even though I know how hard it is.  So basically all I do is focus on my three jobs and homework which feels never-ending.
I started an eight week prayer journey based on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola.  Basically it’s a much longer version of the silent retreat.  But not silent.  It’s going to be a lot harder than the silent retreat because for my first week I had already done all of the activities my director gave me and I’m on campus with lots of noise.  But I feel like I need this – especially since we’ve entered Lent and I have not given up anything for this year. I just need reassurance that I’m going to make it through the next few months perfectly fine.  I know God is an abstract idea to some people, but something pulled me towards the Church and my faith and I’m open to any opportunity to strengthen that faith and I’m trying to embrace all of it.  However, if any of you have any suggestions for me to give something up (other than Diet Coke) go ahead and leave a comment or something – anything really since this is posted on Facebook as well… Mostly I’m focusing on my prayers but giving up something would be nice too.
But my wonderful readers (the few that I think I have) it is time for me to study, knit some caps for chemo, and complete some assignments I’ve managed to neglect so I bid all of you a farewell and happy Sunday. And as always remember I’m just a girl who doesn’t know crap.