thoughts about ish
As I write this introduction for this next update it is actually a week after I wrote it. Oops. Weirdly I was too tired after this week to actually post any of the Corona Chronicles here. But at least they will eventually make it. Even if I have to backdate all my JDKC posts. Whatever. All the feelings I had when I wrote this are still relevant. My district still has not revealed what the next phase of our teaching from home looks like and that starts in a week. They had three weeks to figure it out and it was never discussed. I am frustrated because I just want to know what I'll be doing for half of April. No one has an answer and I am not one who does well without answers. So here it is. I shared my thoughts and feelings with my kids. Though it's a very PG thoughts and feelings and I've added to it because again, it's a week later and I've definitely started to feel more about this. Monday, March 30, 2020:
I’ve noticed that a lot of my journals have started off with “when I was a kid” or “when I was younger” and I wish I had better ways to start them, but at the same time this is how I seem to be making sense out of the entire situation. So here we go again… When I was younger my dad would ALWAYS tell me “you need to have patience” because I hated waiting for things. I could sit in a car for 18 hours driving to Florida no problem, but tell me to wait to do something and I was very annoying to those around me. I spend every day waiting for an email to update me on what’s going on - whether it’s with school or it's in the world in general - I just wait for emails to come through. I need to know information all the time. I think I said it when this all started - I love to know what’s going on. Maybe this isn’t even a patience issue, but a “tell me what’s happening so I can plan my week” issue. I hate waiting. I hate not knowing things and this situation has forced me to reconcile those feelings. I still don’t like it. I might never like it. But I can remind myself that while I wait I have other things to focus on. I have crafts to be doing, plants to be watering, running to complete, or a book to read. During this time of uncertainty I can refocus on things that I tend to put on the back-burner. We always have “stuff to do” and school work to finish, but if we take time for ourselves we can reset our patience meters and learn that waiting is a good thing. Right now I’m waiting for the day when I can see my friends again without a computer screen or without watching movies from different houses. Right now I’m waiting to be able to see all your bright, shiny faces in a classroom. But this waiting is teaching me to not take those little moments for granted ever again. So until we see each other again, take care and don’t overwhelm yourselves,
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AuthorJust a 20something trying to get by in life. Archives
April 2020
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