the way things used to be

Generally this is going to be about how things used to be at school.
When I was little, I loved going to school. I had friends. I had good teachers. I liked learning new things. Sure, we had uniforms and crappy school lunches, but I liked being there. I liked elementary school because of my friends and learning and not having any kind of drama problems.
Everything changed when I started at Greenbriar. I didn’t know anyone, at all. I had to start all over and I hated it. I still had good teachers and I still liked being at school. It was better than being at home alone. But I was the one who was different. I didn’t grow up with all the kids that went to Greenbriar. I went to Bethany Christian. Most people had never heard of it. I made friends though. I had people who I thought were really good friends.
That is until eighth grade started and everyone I talked to in seventh grade was completely different. I know people change, but I didn’t talk to a lot of the people who I thought were really good friends in seventh grade. Eighth grade went on and I once again made new friends. These friends were chosen a little bit better. I was a lot more judgmental in eighth grade. I only really talked to five or six people and about three of them I still talk too regularly. That was two years ago.
Now when eighth grade ended I was prepared for what would happen at the beginning of high school. I probably wouldn’t talk to most of the people that I was somewhat friends with back at Greenbriar. But I had time to make up for that. I became really good friends with a few kids in the band. This is all due to band camp of course. Everything we did for color guard brought me closer to a few people. Katelyn, for example; I pretty much lived at her house for the first half of the semester of ninth grade. I sometimes wish we were still in that routine. The year went on, and I lost people. By the end of the year I felt as if no one cared that I was talking. In one of my classes, I was the person who was sitting at a table by themselves. I was alone in all my classes. I never thought that I would be the person without friends. That doesn’t mean I think so highly of myself, but I know I’m not a bad person. I’m mostly only caring about other people. Sometimes I may not show it, but I do care about how everyone feels. I know what it’s like to be down and upset, and I hate seeing other people like that. At the end of the year I talked to probably four people; Katelyn, Abbey, Megan, and Konnor.
So once again I knew what would happen sophomore year. However, I was proven wrong. I think more people talked to me in the beginning of the year this year than in any other year. I was back in band and everyone that I talked to last year was still talking to me. I knew people in almost all of my classes and I was able to talk to someone in each one. I thought everything was going to be good for once, then November came and everything seemed to go downhill. I started to distance myself from some people. I think that was probably one of the best choices I’ve made in awhile. I also learned who really cares what other people think about them, who the followers are, and who really cares about other people. There aren’t that many of the last group. I know people change during high school, like it’s a way of life or something. But I never thought that so many people would. I can pretty much say, while I’ve changed in the way that I look at people and accept things, I’m the same person I was in sixth grade. However, no one that I talk to now, except for Melany, knew me in the sixth grade.
I know that things change and people are meant to grow apart, but what if it’s the wrong people you grow apart from? What if the people that you think right now are your “best friends” aren’t really meant to be in your life? Everything depends on how people change; how they change in attitude, their personal life, their style, anything. The way you see the world now might not be the same way you see the world in a year from now. But that’s life. It’s supposed to change. We might not like it (I know I haven’t the past few years), but that’s how it’s supposed to be. I wish everything was exactly the same as elementary school. If that happened, I wouldn’t know any of the people I know now. I like the four or five people I talk to regularly now. I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.
But I’m just Jackie, and I don’t know crap.