The Strangeness of Life

I love to write.  I really enjoy all of this. However, I’ve let life take over and with the busy life of being a college student I find it difficult to update as often as I did when I was a sophomore in high school.
I’m a sophomore in college now.  I still work at Marc’s and I’m studying for my Creative Writing degree.  Those are typical things that everyone knows about me.
What I don’t tell people (often) is that while being a creative writing major, I hate writing poetry.  I’ve never believed that I was good.  It’s easy to write narratives about life, but it’s never been easy to write about what I know poetically.  In the last couple days I have had to write two poems for Creative Writing — I feel like this class is going to be mostly poetry and I’m trying not to suffer too much — and these poems are really things that I’ve felt strong about.  The strangeness of my life.  I try not to be an open book about some things that most people already know about, but I also try to let others know what is going on.  I mean, I started a blog at the age of 16 in order to tell the world my thoughts.
I rarely put my real thoughts and feelings on paper and I’m doing exactly that for a group of 15 strangers.  Writing about suicide and heartbreak and depression and boys seem easy when it’s only being written for yourself, its a struggle when you have to open up and put everything out there on your sleeve.
That’s just one class this semester.


Other things seem strange in my life as I grow older, but I try not to focus on what I think is “strange” because a lot of times those aren’t things I enjoy.


right now I enjoy reading and writing and going to school (for the most part, I haven’t said that I want to drop out a million times yet).  I’m not planning my life as much as I used to because I think right now I just need to let go of the past and enjoy where I’m at and then some day things will fall into place.  At least, if I continue to tell myself that then maybe that’s what will happen.


I don’t think anything really new has happened recently… Besides the Patriots losing to the Ravens which now results in the worst Superbowl (or Harbowl as some are saying) to ever happen in my lifetime.  I’ve never wanted to not watch the Superbowl.. I love the sport, commercials, Halftime (which Beyonce/Destiny’s Child is performing at), and the excitement of who might come out as this year’s champion.  But this year it isn’t about the teams.  I’m sure SanFran and Baltimore are great teams but the announcers don’t care about that.  They only care that the coaches are brothers and that’s all the commentary is about.  I can’t watch a SanFran/Baltimore game without wanting to watch it on mute.  I don’t care that the coaches are brothers; I don’t care what their parents have to say about them; I care about the game. But not this game. Not a game where I don’t even like the teams and I can’t get excited about a touchdown or upset about an interception because my quarterback is an idiot. I can’t watch a game that doesn’t cause my heart to race because the final 3 points needed to win the game are happening in the last two seconds.  I need excitement from a sports team.  I need my Browns (one day I have faith they will make it there) or my Patriots (mistakes were made and Baltimore came out the better team) or even Green Bay or New Orleans to make my life worthwhile.


I’m looking forward to baseball season too. ‘


The sorority is going well.  I’m loving living on the floor (because this is what EVERYONE always asks me about).  I’ve had a wonderful life because of these girls I call my sisters and I love the decisions I’ve made since coming to Carroll.  College would not be the same without having joined Kappa Delta that first semester.
Becca and I are doing well.  We still live together and we still plan on living together next year.  She joined KD too and loves it.  She is another thing that made my time at college what it is, plus Eric, but he takes care of us mostly.  He joined a fraternity this year (Sigma Phi Epsilon) and he seems to be loving it.  He now lives on the floor beneath Becca and I.


My adventures continue and I am off to finish doing homework I’ve put off all weekend.
I’ll be uploading the poems I’ve written.
Keep checking back for more…  Like always I’ll try and not go a million months without writing, but I’m still Jackie and I still don’t know crap, so who knows what could happen.