Senior Year: College, Spring Break, One Month, Looking to the Future

*Disclaimer: Even though there is only a month left in my Senior Year, this WILL NOT be my last “Senior Year” post. There will be one after prom and the final one will be after commencement. And probably one in the next couple days about which school I have chosen to attend.
Anyway, it’s currently Spring Break. Well, now the end of Spring Break, I go back on Monday. When this week started I didn’t think I had anything planned and it would be boring and filled with work. I knew ahead of time that I would be going to Toledo on Monday and John Carroll on Thursday. Then I also had plans to go to the “Facing Mars” exhibit at the Science Center with Sean and Melany. Well, the week went much differently. I had a lot more plans that I had expected. Monday I did go to Toledo to visit Brandi and Courtney. I saw more of Brandi, but I appreciated seeing Courtney at least a little bit too. We had a good time despite the rain and from what I saw I liked the campus. Then Tuesday Sean and I (no Smelany) went to the Science Center… turns out if you’re 18 you’re still considered a youth and we got in for free. We walked on Mars. It was a pretty nice experience. (However I can cross “Travel to Mars” off my things to do before I die list because I couldn’t walk when I was walking on Mars.) We had lunch at the Treehouse Tavern on East 4th, it pretty good. Then I had to work. That was not fun because we didn’t not have enough cashiers and that always makes it difficult to have a productive night. Wednesday I went to Cheesecake Factory with Moe. It was my first time. It was really good. Then I worked again. (Haha, see I told you I thought I’d be working all week.) Thursday I still visited Kristin at John Carroll; she took me around and showed me everything on campus. It was really nice and again, I really liked the campus. I liked that it was pretty much all together and really small. I then watched the end of Titanic and Halloween with Moe later that night, we have movie nights, he thinks it’s cool that I’m a movie buff. And then we come to Friday. I wasn’t going to do anything but go to work on Friday, but I decided it would be good to go visit Mal at Baldwin-Wallace. Again, I liked the campus. It’s small but spread out at the same time. I have a very difficult decision to make within the next couple of hours. (Yes, I said hours because I am writing this on Saturday and need to make a decision.) But break is pretty much over and I have plans to go to the movies tonight and then work tomorrow afternoon. That would sum up my entire break. Now, ask me: “Jackie, when did you have time to actually sleep?”
There’s only one month left. I know how fast it’s going to go by and I won’t accept it. The past four years alone have just flown. So much has happened in the past four years I can’t even fathom it. I’ve grown up, grown closer to friends, grown more distant, reestablished great friendships from lost ones, I’ve met some amazing people (the kids who graduated last year that I got close to, Sean, Ashley, etc.), and this all happened in just four years. Four, really quick, event-filled years. I keep asking myself, “how did this happen?” How in the world did these four years go by and leave me with just one month left? How am I already graduating? I remember being a freshman. I already had my foot in the door the first day when I had band camp and was friends with upperclassman already, but that didn’t prepare me for the rest of the day, just band. I remember not knowing anything about Valley Forge; where the classes were, who the teachers were, who would be in my classes, nothing. But look at me now (and if you just had Chris Brown start playing in your head, good, because it started in mine too. Haha), I’m a senior who is graduating in four weeks and can’t make a decision on which school to go to. In four short weeks I’ll be on my own away from the high school scene and trying to get my feet on some kind of ground. I won’t believe it when commencement is over. I’ll just stand there outside in the parking lot waiting for someone to tell me, “It’s not over; you still have time left in high school.” I know that’s not going to happen, but I’ll wait for it. And I know there are people who have watched me grow up saying, “Wow, how did you grow up so fast?” I don’t know, time just went by… I’m glad it’s happening, I’m ready to move onto new things, but I’m not sure how ready I am for this one day to come.
College, now that’s an interesting topic. When I first wrote this last weekend I hadn’t come to any conclusions. In a couple days I will announce where I have decided via the Jackie Doesn’t Know Crap Facebook page. However, in the past year I have gone from Miami to Ohio State to Toledo to Baldwin-Wallace or John Carroll. Now I have a decision to make between Toledo, Baldwin-Wallace, and John Carroll. The college talk has been stressful for the main purpose of not knowing anymore. Plus, where you’re going to put all your money and spend the next four years of your life is kind of a scary thing too. It’s an important decision and I didn’t want to pick the wrong school. I had some really supportive people trying to tell me that any school I pick would probably be perfect for me, but I had others who thought I was crazy for not knowing and for freaking out about wanting to go so bad.
And now, to look to the future… I don’t even know what to look forward to anymore. I used to have it all planned out, but not anymore. I don’t like not knowing how my life is going to turn out. But I guess that uncertainty is what makes life such an adventure, right? And that’s what I want out of life, an adventure.
I had one more thing to say, but I think I’m going to put it into a new separate post that does not involve Senior Year at all. And that’s how my Senior Year is going so far. But remember, I’m Jackie and I don’t know crap (: