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thoughts about ish

Online Dating

4/28/2018

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I've been on Tinder since I was a Senior in college.  I used it as part of my communications capstone on social media.  The first month I spent swiping, I only did it so I could judge all the people I came across.  Then I started to see the fun of it all.  I started getting interested.  


Then I started getting annoyed.  I couldn't handle the obnoxious humans who were there.  I hated the whole thing.  I deleted it. 

Except once you get a taste of online dating, you can never stop going back. 

I have downloaded and deleted all of the dating apps countless times in the last four years.  During that time I connected with many guys.  Most of them awful. 

I'm once again in a weird cycle where I felt I needed to swipe right to find a perfect match. It's been a week and let me tell you how terrible it has been.  I've matched with some guys... I have received messages from a few.  One of the first ones who messaged me seemed great.  He commented on my love of chicken nuggets - he was promising.  Then he did the unspeakable. 

He asked me what I was on Tinder for... Like, what do you mean "what are you here for?"  Clearly, I'm here to meet someone.  The extent to which I am willing to meet someone depends on our conversation and now you've gone and ruined it.  

I am a believer in organic conversations.  I can keep pace with someone who is funny or witty and I can definitely find ways to stay interesting... However, I refuse to answer a questions like "Why are you here?"  It's a dumb question.  It's definitely the fastest way to get rid of me.  If it appears after only 10 short messages, thanks for basically telling me you think I'm awful. Before you ask me what I'm looking for, I suggest you try to figure out if I'm even interesting enough for you to actually go on a date.  Or exchange phone numbers.  I don't know... Maybe it could have just been normal. Ask me what my favorite TV show is - I'll tell you; ask me who my favorite baseball player is - again, I will tell you; Ask me what I do for a living or what I'm going to school for - because I will tell you.  But at 25, I don't know why I'm on a dating app.  I literally don't know what I want because I just want to see my life grow naturally.  

I've said a million times that love isn't real and I've also said that I hate it. But I'm open to it.  I believe in it.  I believe that love cannot be manufactured.  Love is not something that you force upon yourself.  I've found another guy who might have some potential, but he asked me if I wanted to "hear a story earlier" and then when I said sure he just happened to stop replying... So his potential is very low.  This was also after he accused me of being a supporter of Donald Trump. The success rate of this one is less than ten percent. 

But who am I to talk about love and online dating when I've literally never been successful?  I'm just someone who doesn't know crap. 
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    Just a 20something trying to get by in life.

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