Eight Days. Ate Days.

8 days…
That’s all I have left in this little house.
8 days…
That’s how long it will be before I watch everything change.
8 days…
That’s how long I have until I’m not just a two minute drive from my best friend.
8 days…
I have to start a whole new life that I’m not sure how to be ready for.
8 days…
And I will be moved into my teeny tiny little dorm.
8 days…
That’s all I have left in Parma.
I haven’t really thought about leaving… I haven’t really thought about college that much at all this summer actually. I mean, I’ve bought most of my stuff and somewhat prepared, but I’ve been trying to spend as much time as possible with my friends and make this summer the best that I could that I never stopped to think about how little of time I have left in my home.
I leave the nest, or cave I should say since I have a Papa Bear living with me, in eight days. The one thing I always thought about growing up was moving out and being on my own. However, now that it’s really happening, it’s scary. I have to leave my dad, my best friend, my everything. I have to leave the person who raised me for 18 long years… He had to put up with me and deal with all the girl drama that I brought home with me. He’s not going to be there. I won’t be able to see him every day and hang out and watch TV with him after work anymore. In eight days, it is going to be very difficult to say goodbye to my dear ole dad.
While my best friend and I are going to schools relatively close and both in University Circle, we won’t be right down the street from each other like we’ve been for the past 5 years. All summer she’s been a two minute drive away and we’d be able to go anywhere our little hearts desired. We wont’ have that luxury anymore and she’s going to be the hardest friend to say goodbye to.
Technically tomorrow is my last day at Marcs. It’s kind of heartbreaking that I have to say goodbye. Originally I didn’t even want to work there… Now two years later I can’t let go. I can’t say goodbye to place that has provided me the money to pay for everything that I’ve done and more. Marc’s is my home. I did a lot of growing up there. I learned how to treat other people while I was there and I learned a lot about working hard for what I want. But I guess I have to let go. I have to move on. I have to give everything that I worked so hard for up.
My sister has always been a text away. She will still be a text away. But she won’t be twenty minutes anymore. I won’t be able to drive over her house on a Saturday night whenever I want anymore. I don’t know when I’ll see her. I know I’ll miss her bunches. But I’m sure she’ll visit me.
When we go to college we all expect to lose people and meet new ones to replace them… There are people from home who I already know I probably won’t be friends with when I come back. And if I am, it’ll be a complete miracle. I’ve already decided the people who don’t put effort into being friends with me now (like the 98% Jackie, 2% other person friendships) I’m not going to try and keep… I have more important things to worry about while I’m in school… Like my grades and keeping my scholarship because I might like it and I might stay there. I have friends I know I’m going to make an effort to keep. The people I’ve hung out with all summer. The other people who are going away to school who know we’ll need something when we come home. I realize I depend too much on other people to be there for me, but I’ve never been good at losing people. I don’t just give up on you. I won’t leave you and I won’t let you go if you just decide to walk away. But since I’m leaving for a new chapter in my life, I’m not wanting to keep everyone from Parma in my life if they haven’t been willing to include me in theirs this summer.
You can ask me if I’m excited for school and I’ll give you an unsure answer. Sometimes I am and sometimes I’m not. It depends on the day and how close we are to move in.
John Carroll was a tough choice. Leaving home is a tough process.
I still have all of my packing (even though most of my stuff is just hanging out in the living room taking up space) and all of my laundry to do. I know I have to condense on clothes and pick only things that would makes sense for me to wear. That’s going to be the hardest part of this. I wear too much clothes! I have too many t-shirts… how do I just pick some of them?
But in eight very short days I will have all of this settled. Whether I like it or not.
Just remember, I’m Jackie and I don’t know crap.
Hopefully I’ll be updating while I’m in school as often as I can. I was thinking of starting a video blog on youtube but I dunno yet.